Empty-Nesters (As told by Ellie)

Friends and family,

As I am off to school on Wednesday, I thought that I would write a blog entry before my family ships me off!

As you can tell from the previous post, mom hit a bit of a rough patch last week.  Many calls came in with concerns; however, I think that the pictures maybe made mom look a little worse than how she felt.  The beginning of the week in the hospital was a tough battle.  But, I think that mom handled it as gracefully as Ryan Lochte losing the gold to Michael Phelps; head high, looking good.  In leu of the olympics, this process has been more of a marathon, as last week was a 100-meter huddle sprint!  Man, I really love the olympics.  And as the olympics kept us entertained in the hospital, so did the countless phone calls and visits.  Everyone's prayers have kept mom fighting as hard as she can since day one.

The visit from Trudy and Pam was definitely an interesting and special treat.  Those two always keep us laughing.  Another special shout-out to "Dr." Mamma Kim Lee, who truly has been a blessing for my family since my mom's diagnosis.  She is one amazing person and we owe her a million thank-you notes.

Onto better news!

This week, mom is back home almost in full force.  She continues to go to physical and occupational therapy on Mondays and Wednesdays to get motion and use back into her left arm.  She got a new, fancy arm brace that makes her hand look like Wolverine's.  AWESOME.  Honestly, I am a little bit jealous.  Past the cool new look, it allows mom better use of her hand by assisting her in gripping and holding objects.  Although she hasn't quite gotten back to her nimble guitar-playing hands, I assure you she will be back to strumming ASAP.  I know I can't wait.

Mom is going to be taking a break from treatment at the lake this week.  Hopefully she will get some needed R&R, since last week took a lot out of her, as well as the family.  We are headed down to Dale Hollow for a family vacation before we all part ways.  Dad will be needing extra prayers as he makes trips back and forth to pick up and drop off suburban-loads of people throughout the week.

I move in on Wednesday!  As excited as I am to start this new chapter in my life, I wish that I could stay home while my mom continues to heal.  She assures me that we can have Skype dates - I will be seeing her bald through my new macbook rather than in person - because chemo is the next plan for her fight!  She has dealt with it well in the past, as you all know - so we are very hopeful.  She will hopefully regain her strength back with the upcoming break in her treatment.  I have complete faith that your prayers have kept us going during this marathon.  I can't thank all of you enough.

Please Keep up the prayers!

God Bless,

Ellie (The last, but CERTAINLY not least)

p.s. because I am leaving this year, my parents will be empty-nesters... for those of you who live close, PLEASE, do not let my parents stay home.  I will send out cash donations to those of you who would like to help :)  JUST KIDDING!

p.p.s. Also...I'd like to add one more thought from Lauren's close-friend (and future NBA star), Errick Peck.  What a guy!

From Errick:


I took a visit to the Dedinsky household yesterday and as always, they took good care of me. I just wanted to leave a small quote on this blog to hopefully motivate you, show my concern for you, and let you know, Mama Dedinsky, that you are in my prayers. 

"The trials and pressures of life--and how we face them--often define us. Confronted by adversity, many people give up while others rise up. How do those who succeed do it? They persevere. They find the benefit to them personally that comes from any trial. And they recognize that the best thing about adversity is coming out on the other side of it. There is a sweetness to overcoming your troubles and finding something good in the process, however small it may be. Giving up when adversity threatens can make a person bitter. Persevering through adversity makes one better."


JOHN C. MAXWELL

Bumpy Road

Well we have had an adventure this week. Not a real planned one either sooo….how about a little background.
Since starting radiation Pam’s only real symptom had been fatigue and a worsening local sunburn. About 2 weeks ago she started having increased belly pain. We were initially able to control this pain with oral narcotics . Actually  we were able to go down to the boat. While there, Pam managed to explode a gel pack and get second degree burns on both forearms. You got to be careful in the meth lab. The following weekend we had a repeat performance of pain. Monday of this week after radiation we got a celiac nerve block and had very good results for 7 hours. The next day while at radiation we all noted the Pam had a definite  yellow hue: Jaundiced. This was confirmed by lab results. The concern was that the cancer was progressing. She was admitted to the hospital for hydration and testing. The tests showed that  biliary tree was enlarged suggesting there was an obstruction. Again the concern that the tumor was progressing. Today Pam underwent an endoscopic exam that was to accomplish 3 things. 1)get a stent across the obstruction (2) reblock the celiac nerves (3) evaluate if there was obvious tumor. One and two were accomplished. Number 3 was a bit more ill defined. There was no obvious mass but there was some fullness in the area of the bile ducts. And what does all this mean? The good news is that radiation is over. PAM “RANG THE BELL”. The plan moving forward is let her Jaundice resolve and then restart some systemic chemotherapy. What and how long is yet to be determined.  We are all doing better since Pam is better. If you have any questions let us know. We appreciate all of your love and prayers.

God Bless,
Greg

P.S.  Special thanks to ("Dr.") Kim Graham Lee for being with Pam every day as well as being our photographer!  We love you.

Below are some of her pictures...Enjoy!

 "Dr. Mamma Lee" checking Pam's heart

 Ellie and Pam in her room.

Pam has graduated from radiation!

  Dr. Lee again!

Those aren't suckers unfortunately! Thanks for stopping by, Becky and Julie!

Pam and Kaylin Post-Stent placement.  Smiling!

Dad and Lauren working on the blog.

Keep up the prayers!

"Grandma Pam"

Pam continues to amaze me! As she mentioned in her last blog, her journey has taken a new turn with radiation treatment the next 5 weeks to help her gain more functionality in her left arm. (In case you didn’t know, she is a leftie!) She started radiation therapy Thursday.

 It was a longer session than will be typical as they wanted to position her just right in the “linear accelerator” (pictured here—no, that isn’t Pam in it!) and all the necessary markings were on her body to ensure that the radiation was hitting the exact targets.  If she ever wanted a tattoo, she now knows what it feels like with the different black marker-like lines and circles on her upper body. We were laughing because one of the markings looked like a continuation of the pattern on the shirt she was wearing!

Pam was a real trooper laying flat on her back for almost 90 minutes, left arm extended, head tilted to the side, knees propped up and body completely still. Her back has been bothering her and I know she was really ready to be done though she never complained. Fortunately, treatment sessions will last only 15-20 minutes each day. She really likes Dr. Patel who is overseeing her radiation treatment. 

I also wanted to quickly follow-up on the news in her last blog about the latest Dedinsky addition. Pam is a “Grandma.”  No, while Kendal and Scott are high achievers, they didn’t work that fast! However, their gift to Kaylin for helping plan their incredibly beautiful and fun wedding was a miniature Golden Doodle, Louis. Kaylin informed me that his official name is St. Louis Ludwig II. Pam is crazy about “Lou” as you can see from the photo of the two of them below.

Your love, thoughts and prayers continue to give her strength. Keep ‘em coming. Thought I would close with something I heard earlier this week. The opposite of fear is faith and Pam is indeed walking by her faith! You inspire me, dear friend. Love ‘ya!

-Kim Graham Lee

Something New

Our last blog was SO long ago. In that time, we cerebrated a marriage, two graduations, and the continued success of chemotherapy to keep this cancer at bay! As many of you know, the weeks following Kendal’s wedding have been a bit harder for me. My abdominal pain has been more consistent but continues to respond to pain medicine. The bigger problem has been my left arm.  The pain is the worst two days after chemotherapy, and I have had significant functional loss. For example, it is very difficult to write so my girls have been having to help me pay bills. J

As a result, we have decided to hold chemo for a few weeks to do radiation to the tumors above my clavicle and under my arm. The thought is that those lymph nodes that contain cancer are pushing on the nerves that run in that area and control strength in the hand and arm. The goal of radiation is to shrink those lymph nodes. Meanwhile, I am also having a biopsy of one of the lymph nodes. We will send that tissue to a lab in Boston that tests tissue to find out what kind of chemotherapy the cancer is potentially sensitive to. With that information, we will resume chemotherapy after radiation.

The logistics of the radiation are as follows. I will get a total of 25 treatments over five weeks (Monday thru Friday.) The radiation will be painless, and the major side effect is fatigue. The fatigue will be cumulative so that by the end of the five weeks, I will likely be pretty tired. I hope and pray that I tolerate this new treatment as fluidly as the last six months of chemotherapy.                                                                

So much for the fun stuff. My hair is starting to grow back. Where the hell did all this gray come from? I’ll just call this chemo color. My cranial prosthesis (wig) carries the color for now. Ellie has joined the work force with a vengeance. She is now working as many hours as sleeping. I get the sense that IU will not come soon enough. For those of you who need an update on Lewis: he is one cute puppy. (This puppy was a gift to Kaylin for helping to plan the wedding.) He does have though one very annoying habit. Greg calls him the “Ninja Shitter.” We are finding pooh in rooms that no one has seen him in. But he is cute and that is what saves him. The big dogs are tolerating him better. Tally and Lewis play like puppies until Tally has had enough and then she just lays a paw across his neck. Game over.

The newlyweds seem to be adjusting well. Kendal was home this weekend to go to a wedding in St. Louis. She is a remarkable young woman. Her help and kindness are invaluable. I guess all the dirty diapers were worth it. Kaylin has remained busy . Lauren is going to have a minor surgery this week so we will be couch buddies for naps. Thanks you all for the continuing prayers, visits, phone calls, lunches, parties at chemo  (they had to put us in the back room because we make too much noise!)  Love PAM

Life Still Goes On

We have been negligent writing blogs the past few weeks (hence the deluxe edition today.) It is a busy time for the Dedinsky household! The girls and Scott were in Europe visiting Lauren the last ten days of March. They returned to wedding plans amid work (or perhaps work amid wedding plans!) The girls found the time to throw me a birthday party the day before Easter. The party was small (but loud) and a great opportunity to reconnect with longtime friends and celebrate with those who have been so supportive these past few months.

One of the biggest blessings this month so far was a visit from a friend who I met during Greg’s cardiac fellowship days. Roxy babysat Kendal and Kaylin when they were small while our husband’s spent nearly all their hours at the hospital training. We reminisced about those crazy days over wine recalling the days of “Stitch and Bitch” with other resident wives. (Neither of us ever managed to complete a knitting project but man could we do the other!) It was a quick but wonderful twenty-four hours before Roxy had to go home to Arizona, but we still managed to find time to hit up TJ Maxx fast and furiously - just like old times.

I completed my fifth cycle of chemo today. Our last scans about two weeks ago showed a small decrease in the size of the lymph nodes in and around my arm. The pancreatic tumor is unchanged from our last scan. We have elected to continue on course with the same chemo regiment for a total of six cycles. This puts us into May at which point we will need to make more decisions about the next step.

As for me, I need a nap earlier in the day than I did in January, but my side effects continue to be irritating but not debilitating. I have trouble with sensation in my left hand and arm but have no problems with strength. I guess my right hand is going to have to start doing some work for the first time in my life. The doctor thinks this loss of sensation is due to chemotherapy and decided to decrease the dose of one of my chemo medications by 25%.

One week from today we will have a wedding to celebrate! We got out our wedding video this past week. Damn we looked good despite the bad video quality of 1983. I eagerly await the arrival of family next week, and anticipate the house will need a thorough cleaning this weekend. Those tasks will be delegated to my wonderful children and husband as mom has cancer and shouldn’t be doing house chores. J I need to store my energy for the excitement of the coming week and the weeks after that when we will celebrate two graduations. I am thankful everyday that there are so many wonderful distractions in my life as I endure this challenge! Looking back to January when I was first diagnosed, we had no idea how I would feel this week in April. By the grace of God, I haven’t missed a beat.

I continue to count my blessings and try every day to embrace this road that the Good Lord walks with us.  Thank you for your continued prayers. I will end with a poem:

Look on the Bright Side

For every negative that consumes your happiness,

Affirm two positives that sustain you.

For every “should’ve” you wish you’d done,

Acknowledge something you’re glad you did.

For every loss that has altered your world,

Count from it something you have gained.

For every limit that has ever beset you,

Consider your possibilities.

You can’t always change the way things are,

But you can change the way you wish to see them.

Never stop looking

For the brighter side and beyond.

Eric T. Moore

Life Goes On

In all the craziness that is part of our daily lives, it’s been over two weeks since the last blog. I have been remiss not because I have been feeling particularly under the weather, but rather life goes on despite chemo. And at our house, we have quite a few irons in the fire!

I did finally have to face the reality that I am a chemo patient last week. I thought I would continue to skate through these treatments with little to no side effects, but after a trip to St. Louis with Kendal for a bridal shower after my last treatment, I was faced with significant myalgias, weakness, and fatigue.  I know that this is a small price to pay as we continue to pound the tumors that threaten me.

In the midst of feeling sub-par, I made a trip to the oncologist to make sure that my labs looked okay. Turns out that (just as I expected) my hemoglobin has dropped a few points since I started chemo. This is likely the source of my increased weakness and fatigued legs on the treadmill every morning. In addition to this, I may also be feeling the accumulative effects of the chemotherapy as I start my fourth round.  This past week with no chemo has seen much improvement, but I still need my afternoon nap! When I don’t get that hour of sleep, I certainly pay the consequence. Much to my surprise, utilizing the  meal train during the week ensures that I get my rest time as I don’t have to worry about putting food on the table for dinner. Thank you all for your continued generosity!

This morning all the girls and Scott leave for Europe to see Lauren who has been abroad since January. Regretfully, Greg and I will not be able to accompany them as I have continued treatments these next two weeks. It is imperative that I continue to stay on course, and while I know all the girls wish we could share in this family experience , we felt it most important that I continue chemo on schedule. The plan is for a trip to Europe for Greg and I later in the year! We will get to practice being “ empty nesters “ for the next ten days. How is this possible? I ask myself.

In other news, Kendal placed for a surgical residency at her first choice, George Washington University in Washington DC. This ensures that Kendal will be able to enjoy newly married life by living in the same city as her soon to be husband! (Scott will be his residency in OBGYN at Walter Reed Military Hospital in DC as well.) What a relief! At the match day party, we got a preview of the band that will be playing at Kendal’s wedding. Bring your dancing shoes and hold onto your wig (if you wear one) – they were fabulous!

I have continued to reconnect with friends. Despite the challenges of cancer, one of the many blessings has been all the phone calls, meals, and conversations with so many people who have touched my life over the years. I am so grateful for all the love and support that continues to come our way.

I leave you with this:

God’s Promise to Me

“Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6

Pam, you rock!

Wanted to share with everyone that Pam and I had a very special evening this past Thursday night. It was too much fun! We, along with 2500+ people (mostly in the 50 -60 age bracket), went back 35 years in time and listened to Peter Frampton at the Murat Theatre here in Indianapolis. In Pam’s own words, “WOW!"

Pam didn’t recognize Peter when he first took the stage. He’s traded in those long curly, golden locks for a white ring around his bald head. But, man, oh man, he sure hasn’t traded in that voice. He sounded just as good as when he first recorded “Frampton Comes Alive.” In case you are wondering, Pam looked it up and confirmed that he’ll be 62 next month. At the concert, he and his group played the entire “Frampton Comes Alive” album and then shared some new stuff.  (His rendition of Soundgarden’s Black Hole Sun was awesome!) Loved how he kept referring to “Me Comes Alive” throughout the night. He played for almost 3 hours and was sure having fun up there!

Speaking of fun, I have to tell on Pam. There were two 60-something guys in front of us who were hysterical. Looked like they came right off their Harleys. Pam couldn’t keep her eyes off of them. Actually, they provided us with some additional entertainment all night long.

A couple of times, Pam was threatening to throw her “cranial prosthesis” on the stage. For those of you who didn’t catch it from the first blog on Jan. 31, that’s what she calls her “wig.” She restrained herself. As you can tell from the attached photo from before the concert, she looks great in her new hair. By the way, we have no idea who the guy behind Pam was. He saw the camera and decided to jump in. Does anyone recognize him?

You know I was thinking about Pam and Peter Frampton. They have a lot more in common than just a lack of hair right now. Both have wonderful smiles and an incredible love and gift of music. Pam was amazed at what he was able to do and kept pointing out the difficulty for any musician at any age to play the rock and acoustic guitars the way he did. I had my very own music expert right beside me.

Pam, you do amaze me. You have been so strong and have had such a positive attitude. You are doing so well with the treatment. You continue to smile.  You do rock, girlfriend, and thanks for sharing a special night with me. Next week, make sure you play some Frampton for Dr. Bhatia!  (He had no idea who Peter Frampton was!) J

Kim Graham Lee